Fear: It's A Brain Thing

"It is not so much what happens to you as how you think about what happens."

   Epictetus, Greek Philosopher, writing in the 1st Century

As Epictetus suggested more than 2,000 years ago, our fears are not based on the facts of a situation but on our beliefs about the situation.

Epictetus was no brain scientist but he could have been. Neuroscience confirms what Epictetus was telling us.

If you take a moment to think about a fear you have, you'll notice that just thinking about it produces an emotion from mild discomfort to outright panic. Think of walking down a dark alley alone at night. Snakes. Phone calls to people we don't know (or, sometimes, people we do know). Asking for money (or, sometimes, asking for a favor). Giving or getting feedback. Job interviews. Dying.

None of that is a problem, however, unless the thought prevents us from doing what we want to do or need to do.

For example, I've worked with people who avoid delivering presentations or won't voice their opinions or are terrified of confronting a coworker even when they know their career and their life would be enhanced if they did so. A friend's entire business is based on helping people get over their fear of making phone calls to business prospects. There are brilliant people who freeze when taking a test.

So why are we afraid? Here's the neuroscience part.

Over millions of years, our brains have evolved to make sure we survive by predicting the future. After all, if a cave man needed to go into the forest to collect nuts and berries and could predict that the noise he hears is a predator and not just the wind moving tree branches, his life will be saved by not going in the forest.

The cave man did this by comparing sights and sounds he had heard in the past to the current sights and sounds and using that data to predict whether the noise was the wind or a predator.

This is exactly what our brains are doing today, right now, this minute. We take data from the past and use that to predict what will happen in the future all in the interest of making sure we survive.

As we imagine ourselves delivering a presentation, making a phone call, taking a test or being interviewed for a job, our brains try and predict what will happen so that we can be prepared.

The problem is we can't accurately predict the future. How could we? The future, you may have noticed, hasn't happened yet.

The future may occur as we have predicted, but that's only by chance. Strategic planning experts, astrologers and investment advisers may congratulate themselves when the future turns out as they predicted, but that's only because they've taken educated guesses and been lucky. There's no way to actually know what happens until it happens (even the "Back To The Future" movies had trouble with the future and the characters knew what was going to happen). 

Sometimes we're right and the future conforms to our prediction. Sometimes we're wrong.

This doesn't mean we shouldn't plan for the future based on our predictions. Make lists of pros and cons. Consult the experts. Talk it over with those you trust. Attend seminars to practice the skills you want to use. Chance seems to favor the prepared mind.

But if chance does favor our preparation well...that's just more chance.

Why is this important? Because, when we're afraid, it helps to know that it's just the brain doing its thing.

The knowledge that we create our fears is the knowledge that there is nothing to fear.

We can't control the future. But we can control our reactions when the future comes. And our big, amazing, brains will ensure that we survive that real future.

I'm creating my fears. I'm creating my fears. I'm creating my fears.

Say that over and over instead of what you currently may be telling yourself when you're afraid.

It's Words Not Wishes That Create A Future

"Whether you think you can or you think you can't you're right."

                           Henry Ford

We are largely unaware of how powerfully what we think shapes our actions. But we can gain some insight into what we think by noticing what we say. After all, "In the beginning was The Word."

In the article, “How Language Shapes Your Organization” published in the Harvard Business Review Blog Network on July 24^th, 2012, Kevin Allen discusses how language shapes a corporate culture.

He uses Enron as an example of a culture where phrases like “We’re an aggressive culture,” “We’re guys with spikes,” and “Money is the only thing that motivates” produced a culture where it was permissible to shut off energy supplies to California and manipulate markets.

Contrasted with Enron is Horst Schulze who headed the Ritz-Carlton group for many years and is credited with introducing the principle "We are ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentlemen."

Allen suggests that the words that become the “catch phrases” of any organization provide the “cultural permission” that creates the behavior and attitudes of an organization and its people.

“Cultural permission” is a great phrase and has implications well beyond the Corporate world. For example:

“We are better than (other countries, other people, other races)” has created the cultural permission for genocide.

“That’s a no brainer” provides the cultural permission to cut off dissent by suggesting that the person who disagrees with what everyone else thinks is obvious has no brains. To see the power of the “no brainer” phenomenon in action, consider how long it took to disprove the "no brainers" that if we travel far enough, we’ll fall off the end of the earth, bloodletting will cure almost any illness and the sun revolves around the earth.

“It’s every man for himself” will produce behavior very different from “We’re all in this together.”

“Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing” may give permission to act unethically in order to win. “Winning isn’t everything, but wanting to win is” (the actual Vince Lombardi quote) may produce actions that are disciplined, committed and responsible.

“I’m too busy to think” may produce thoughtless people. Lives that are stressed and rushed follow naturally from the statement, “I haven’t got the time.”

In an article in the New York Times on August 10^th, 2012 (“Beware The Nocebo Effect”), the cardiologist Bernard Lowen is quoted as saying, “Words are the most powerful tool a doctor possesses, but words, like a two-edged sword, can maim as well as heal.”

Perhaps most worrisome of all are the words we use to describe ourselves. “I’m a shy person,” “I’m an angry person” or “I’m a forgetful person” generate people who behave in ways that conform to their self descriptions even though those adjectives represent a miniscule portion of their total behavior.

We use our self descriptions as proof of our limitations, leading to statements such as “I’d love to but I’m too shy” (ignoring the many times we were outspoken), or “If only I weren’t fearful, I’d tell people my opinion” (disregarding those times when we told others exactly what we thought) or “I’d have better relationships if only I weren’t so afraid of commitment” (discounting the many commitments we have made in our lives).

Perhaps “be careful what you wish for, you may get it” is on a par with “be careful what you say, you may create it.”